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3.1.1. Individual responsibility

Elze's picture

Adulthood brings many res­pon­si­bi­li­ties with it. First you need to search, find and furnitture a place to live, and buy clothing, food and other things. Then you have daily to cook and weekly to wash, clean, gardening, do-it-yourself jobs, and so on. And besides that you still have your societal res­pon­si­bi­li­ties. That means con­ti­nual­ly weigh and choo­se what you want, can and first and afterwards will do and how you attune that with your environment and others. Because once you're officially an adult, you are personally responsible for the choices you make and the way you at­tu­ne that to others.

Also in friendships and re­la­ti­on­ships you make choices. Choices you do better good to think about, as friendships and establishing re­la­ti­on­ships namely creates obli­ga­ti­ons. You are more in­ten­si­ve­ly involved with the wishes and pursuits of the other and must attune both interests properly, with­out wrong one another.

  1. Starting a friendship or re­la­ti­on­ship with an egoist means starting a friendship or re­la­ti­on­ships with someone who just does or wants to do what he or she wants.

  2. Starting a friendship or re­la­ti­on­ship with an [whether or not consciously stra­te­gic] con­for­mist, means starting a friendship or relationship with so­me­one who mirrors like a chameleon to the environment and only wants what for him or her important others are wanting.

  3. Yourself having no feelings of consideration with the wishes of others, but nevertheless wanting a friendship or re­la­ti­on­ship, means expecting from the other one that they mirror your will. In other words, that they make their wills subordinate to that of yours. Which means having un­rea­son­a­ble demands yourself and expecting from friendships or re­la­tion­ships that they tolerate un­rea­son­a­ble desires. And with that being un­rea­son­a­ble itself, as well in relation to them­sel­ves as to you and others.

  4. Your will [consciously or not for strategic reasons] subordinate to [potential] friends, relatives and others, means your wishes pres­sing to the background [ccons­cious­ly or not, whether or not because you yourself have learned that in your child­hood, or forced to do so] and that of others placing in the foreground. Which means harmful to yourself and undemocratic behaviour play into the hand. And therefore un­rea­son­a­ble, both in terms of yourself and towards others.

  5. Not being reasonable yourself and starting friendships or re­la­ti­on­ships with people who also are [or wants to be] un­rea­so­nable, means, either strike up a fighting [whether hidden or not] over who is or may be the most un­rea­so­na­ble, or close deals to who, when and how may be un­rea­son­a­ble. In all cases, the reasonableness tastes defeat.

Every adult is responsible itself for the way he or she participates in the ffa­mi­ly/­cul­tu­re and world/­so­cie­ty/society. Even as they are selfish, conformistic, violent and [manipulative] dictatorial.

 Every adult is responsible itself for the consequences of his or her choices. Even if there is little or no thought about or [for some reason] is copied. Also, if we let ourselves be influenced or bullying by the family and others. The consequences of our conscious and unconscious choices can never, ever be shift on to others. Even if we later on re­gret.

  1. The consequence of starting a friendship or re­la­ti­on­ship with an egoïst means con­stant­ly keep the likes of another in mind without receiving anything in re­turn, because an egoist is only in­te­res­ted in themself and his or her per­for­man­ce, appearance, wishes and dis­ap­point­ments. If that one don't want cer­tain things or don't like that, he or she just does not do it and let it 'just' to others. If that other person there - whether with ar­gu­ments or not - [still] set li­mits on, distances themself or disconnects the friend­ship or re­la­ti­on­ship, the selfish is or angry if not infuriated, or is immediately looking for a new victim, or blackmails the other[s] with pettiness, 'help­less­ness', self-pity and slander ['look what that person did to me'].
  2. The consequence of starting a friendship or relationship with a [wether or not conscious stra­te­gic] conformist means friendship or relationship with a chameleon; you never know what the other person wants itself. He or she does the one time what you want, the next time what his or her family wants, then what his or her col­lea­gues and bosses want, then what his or her [other] friends want, then what societies, religions, political par­ties, cultures or the general opinion of con­for­mists, led by the media want, and when there are children, what their kids want. To satisfy all of them, he or she usually makes a combination of it and then says that it's his or her identity to do what others want. And then be sick of it or com­plai­ning that no one is paying attention to his or her, that he or she is so busy doing what another want, that he or she never does what he or she wants itself, that don't know any more, or can't choose because there will be always someone whom might want something different.