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2.2. Personal development
Our life is a constant repetition of moves. On condition of not damaging themselves and others, everyone, from the cradle to the grave, gets the opportunity to bring his or her wishes, competences, activities and being, on their own way, in a self-selected pace, to a higher level. Guide-line are the 16 stages of development from the first 12 years of life, as described in Books/4-Phases theory and Vision 2.2.
2.2.1. 'I want' time
0 m: I want determine myself what I want. This is the investigation phase. At this stage the child learns to discover what is available in the world, what is accessible and what is out of reach, what is free and where which price-tag is on it. Learns the child to make weigh-ups, selections and choices.
9 m: I want and you want. This is the empathy phase. The ability to imagine oneself in someone else's thoughts and experiences. In this phase will be learned how the wishes of the one, on yourself or others not damaging way and distance, can be attuned to others.
18 m: I want this but not that. This is the enterprising phase.Here are, on the condition of not damaging yourself and others, as many options offered as possible, because exploring opportunities and making own choices, based on a broad offering is the foundation of any identity. Without a wide range of possibilities, not only the choices are limited and therefore still, on an trojan way, driven in a by others desired direction For example, "to make it easier '[easier for whom?], but also not practiced in analyzing and weighing of the pros and cons.
27 m: I want to be myself. This is the identity phase. Is the realization that you are an trinity of that what you want, can and are doing. learning to make responsible choices is therefore for everyone, young and old, children and adults, of great importance. Reconsidering belongs to that. Reconsidering means that something isn 't quite clear yet. That not sufficient information is available, the information isn't appropriately linked to knowledge, there a conflict is arising with old information and previous experiences, or that they are hesitating because of the consequences of each choice entail [if I choose another find me stupid, I'm excluded or mentally, physically, economically and/or cultural-socially threatened].
2.2.2. 'I can' time
3 jr: I want determine myself what I can. This is the development phase. At this stage the child learns to weigh-up and select what it wants to be able to. And how that to develop. Learns it that and how it can build self-knowledge and self-confidence.
n4 jr: I can and you can. This is the self-confidence phase. Here the child learns to trust their own abilities. and openly admit that. It can intrinsically not let be fooled by positive or negative reactions of others. It may if requested perform a specific task and make an extrinsic imposed test in that specific area. These can be house-garden-kitchen as well as intellectual or creative competances. With this in the same way always is made use of specific interests and skills.
4h jr: I can this but not that. This is the self-critical phase. Self-examination highlights the natural judgment of child and adult. Learns children to deal smoothly with successes and shortcomings of themself and others. Encourages to share in a group with young and old viewpoints, to disagree, to tolerate rejections and harvest appreciations. The emphasis of ratings must always be constructive, not destructive, likewise where it concerns shortcomings [what can you learn from your mistakes]. Children and adults [parents, teachers, caregivers and others] judge each other on that and be judged accordingly.
5q jr: I can be myself. This is the self-consciousness phase. The consciousness of a child who has developed oneself on its own to an identity that self wants, can and does. An independent identity who can trust oneself because he/shecan, where necessary, correctoneself in the desired direction. Someone who can make a distinction between oneself and others. Between oneself and the environment. Who, without harming oneself or others, creates and controls the necessary distance and righteous attunes to others. Someone who knows what he/she can and can't and what he/she can and can't expect from others.
2.2.3. 'I do' time
6 jr: I want determine myself what I am going to do. This is the preference phase. At this stage each child determines – on the condition of not damaging themselves and others,- self what he or she is going tot do now and in the future, with his or her till then developed wishes and knowledge. And how. To what extent he or she wants or can do it alone, and to what extent together with others. A self-conscious child knows what it wants and be able to. Knows how to interact with others. Know how it can face the mistakes from themselves and others. Knows how to repair own mistakes. Knows how it can discuss with others, without damaging themselves and others. And knows when and how to take the necessary distance from others.
n7 jr: I do this and you do that. This is the inventory phase. Each child is faced with the choices and activities of themselves and others. At this stage is examined and inventoried what is and is not desirable and possible. And why. The child becomes more and more aware of what and how much influence the thoughts, feelings, experiences and choices of others are persueing his or her own life. What the impact and attraction of group formation is:
- you are not alone,
- you learn to know [better] the desires, motives, arguments, feelings, choices, options and imposibilities of others (better) know.
- you can work together to generate something [a common goal or project] what you can't do alone,
- you can - as part of the group – feel one with and be seen by other group-members and [together] feel strong enough to withstand potential threats.
but you can also face
- undemocratic assembled group-commandments of cultural-socially shamelessly enterprising individuals and groups who have got a
- rigid group culture based on the law of the jungle, where you have little to say and,
- hardly selection possibilities but plenty
- obligations and commandments and prohibitions. who are not only be damaging for yourself but also for others. Especially for critics, unwillings and non-members.
7h jr: I do this but not that. This is the moral phase. Here comes the forethought and plans for the short and long term at issue. At this stage reconsiderations are made and conclusions from the so far made choices. The child now has a good understanding of the implications of all kinds of individual and group-related activities. What are the disadvantages of raising along with others [limited choice possibilities, strictly regulated attuning to others, potentially damaging consequences for themselves and others, etc]. And what the consequences are if you choose to develop on your own pursuits. If you - for whatever reason - don't want to do the same as the group / culture. Or not always, not that way, or under such conditions. [risk of rejection and worse of all those who have made group-based choices].
8q jr: I do it out of myself.This is the creative phase. At this stage choices, knowledge and skills are integrated and automated, and as such - naturally – turned into all kinds of creative processes. Both at individual and group level. This subsequently appears to many people to be the starting point for a creative development which in later stages of life often with pleasure is referred to.
2.2.4. 'I am' time
9 jr: I want determine myself who I am. This is the identification phase. At this stage, the identification of homemade choices, interests, pursuits and ideas are coming up for discussion. The perspective of the child expands. It not only thinks more about the small world in and around him or her, but also about the big world beyond. About good and evil, moral standards, cultures and world issues. It examines the familial and social developments and contexts, takes not all for granted and asks critical questions about the beliefs, intentions, behavior and habits of family, environment, society and cultures. And vents his or her moral judgment on this.
n10 jr: I am I and you are you. This is the assertiveness phase. The child acts increasingly independent. It has meanwhile developed an own vision and perspective and feels mentally strong enough to argue about that and to disagree. Both on personal matters, preferences and choices of oneself and the people around him or her, as on cultural and social issues. It doesn't put up with comments like 'what would you know of it' and 'know-all' and doesn't shy away from a conflict.
10h jr: I am this but not that. This is the presentation phase. At this stage the child shows who it is and where it stands for. That it is ready to take in its own place in the world. With its own role and function. That it is ready to take responsibility. That's no longer a child. It behaves increasingly independent, develops his or her own interests and hobbies, whether or not with their own group of friends and is getting more and more detached from the ins and outs of the family organization.
11q jr: I am who I want to be.This is the distance phase. The child takes leave of his or her childhood. It has determined his or her position, taken his or her stance towards family and friends and made his or her choices. It not only feels its own personality, but also - as such - part of a larger whole. It muses about his or her place in the larger whole, is contemplating his or her role in this and philosophizes about his or her future plans and future perspective.